How To Catch A Cheating Lover
If you’ve ever fantasized about living the life of a sleuth, here’s your chance. Investigating a cheating lover is no different than investigating any case you read in newspapers, see on TV or watch on film. Your most fundamental tools are your eyes and ears. You only need to hone your observation, listening and information gathering skills. With the methods and tools suggested here, you’ll be using the techniques employed by detectives and private investigators for ages. You don’t need to be James Bond or Agatha Christie. All you need is a desire for the truth and the willingness to persevere until you find it.
Catching a sneaky, lying, conniving cheater can be accomplished by anyone with a little determination and effort. A few rules and guidelines used by professional investigators will get you started, and well on your way to uncovering the truth about what’s really going on in your relationship.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Investigator Basics
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – DOS….
Trust your intuition
If you think there’s cheating, there’s a good chance it’s taking place. Have faith in your ability to uncover the truth, dispassionately and thoroughly.
Stay calm
Face reality, and accept that it’s possible your partner is cheating.
Be observant
Take off the blinders, and notice all the little signs that are staring right at you. Notice, for example, if your lover is on edge or acting guilty, disconnected, less fun, or telling you how miserable they are. These subtleties are important.
Listen to what other people are saying
If your partner is cheating on you, someone else knows and there’s sure to be gossip. Just make sure it’s not idle gossip before you act on it.
Discuss boundaries
Know what’s important to your partner, what they value. If a person says it’s okay that Ryan or Kate is cheating, they probably think its okay for everyone to cheat.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover - DON’TS….
Don’t make accusations without evidence
If your partner is innocent, you’ll only hurt their feelings. If they’re guilty, you’ll just be warning them to cover their tracks better, and making it harder to catch them. Don’t confront your partner until you are 100% positive they’re cheating. Confronting a loved one with cheating, whether they’re guilty or innocent, has the potential to change your life permanently.
Don’t monopolize
Don’t think you can limit cheating by monopolizing your partner’s time; it will only make them want more time away from you.
Don’t even consider going after the third party
It will only make your partner defend them. Cheating is between you and your partner. If something were not wrong in your relationship, there wouldn’t be any cheating.
Don’t ask your friends or relatives to spy for you
You run the risk of their wanting to spill the beans to the cheater to help save your relationship, or worse yet take sides against you.
Don’t think this problem will go away on its own
Face the unpleasant fact this person doesn’t mind hurting you….and don’t be afraid to consider dumping them.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover-Investigator Guidelines
How To Catch A Cheating Lover - Keep a journal or calendar
Record collected evidence, dates, times, places. Also keep a diary of your partner’s activities, people he sees, excuses, etc. A micro-cassette recorder is a professional detective’s gadget-of-choice. It can be slipped into a pocket and is easily available for taking notes whenever you find a valuable piece of evidence, and for recording reminders to yourself. This information will be useful to compare against any bills or credit card receipts you find.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Study simple techniques of lie detection
A library book is all you need. Learn how to interpret physical signs like eye contact, vocal tone, facial expression, sweating, twitching, etc. Note speech mannerisms that reveal lying, such as delayed response to questions, avoidance techniques, excessive speaking, exaggerations, use of humor or sarcasm an evasive ploy when questioned.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Learn how to follow someone without their detecting you
Use a car whenever possible, wear a disguise, take binoculars and a still-camera, preferably with telephoto lens. Never follow a suspected cheater when they’re leaving the home you share; if they’re guilty, that’s when they’re most cautious. Always have a back-up story ready in case you’re spotted.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Make allies
Stay friendly with your partner’s friends and converse with them often to learn if your partner is truthful about how much time is spent with them.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Telephone
Call often, whether your partner says they’re at work or ”out with friends.” Note background noises, or if there’s an uncomfortable tone in your partner’s voice because someone else is present.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Make surprise visits and depart from your usual routine
Show up at your partner’s workplace unannounced, or come home unexpectedly from shopping or work. Make a special announcement that you’ll be working late, but come home early.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Set a few simple, but tactical traps, to aid your investigation
Once you’ve begun uncovering evidence, you’ll come up with ways of your own to uncover whatever information you need to prove you’re being cheated. Here are a few examples of simple set-ups that help catch a cheater.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Send a gift without a card
If your partner asks you if you’re the sender, they’re not cheating. If there’s no mention, the odds are pretty good they’re involved with someone else.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Fake a trip with friends
Then watch your house from a distance to see who visits when you’re not expected, or if your partner doesn’t come home at all because you’re away. Call the house to see when and if anyone answers.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Ask someone to hit on your partner
Make sure it’s only an acquaintance, not a friend who might want to help you by intervening, nor a mutual friend who might be tempted to tell all and warn your partner. If you don’t know anyone who can help, you can hire someone for a small price. A local actor or drama student at a nearby college would be good choices.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Check the bed
If you suspect someone’s been sleeping in your bed when you’re not home, make an identifying fold in the covers, or plant something inside the covers that will fall or become dislodged the next time the bed is used. This is a sure way to catch any dalliance when you’re not around.
How To Catch A Cheating Lover – Monitor his monitor
If you’re worried about excessive online activity, mention it to your partner. If they say their activity is harmless, or make light of your concern, ask if you can sit beside them while they’re ‘innocently’ surfing, visiting networking sites or participating in a chat room. If there’s no cheating involved, your partner will welcome your involvement and interest. If they’re unwilling to let you participate in their online relationships, you can be sure there’s cheating involved, either online or in real time.
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